hi there everyone!!! my names sander and im in kind of a Situation here…. my [emotionally abusive and manipulative] mom and i’s already rocky relationship recently escalated to the point where she hit me, multiple times and encouraged me to commit suicide (while knowing i am suicidal), and while i have always felt unsafe in my home (she is very bigoted, and with me being nonbinary and queer, you can imagine how scary that is), she very rarely gets violent, and i can usually shrug it off, but after this, things havent been the same and i am unable to deny that i am in serious danger.
because of this, im trying desperately to make money to save up and move out of my house. i have a part time job at forever21 (im going to try and get more hours) but its not enough. she is refusing to pay for my psychologist (i am depressed, just diagnosed a few weeks ago) because she “doesnt believe in it”, and she refused to let me switch to a new school, despite me facing sexual assault twice at my current school, and victim-blamed me when i told her about it, saying it was my fault that those men did that to me. not cool lmao
so im not asking for donations since i cant ask ppl for money until i know for SURE what my plan is and can tell people where their money would be going, but for now, im going to just ask you guys to check out my storenvy, where im trying to sell new/very gently used clothes SUPER CHEAP (nothing is over $15)!! if you purchase something, make sure to send me a message so that i can promo you and follow you!!
also, ill be doing commissions for custom chokers and bracelets!!!! chokers will be $4 and bracelets will be $2, and they can have text or not, and i can use whatever colors/beads you want!!! just tell me the number of the beads you want me to use, what colors, and what you want it to say (if anything), and ill make it for you!! if u dont feel like messaging me here on tumblr, then please email me at email@example.com (if you do, include your tumblr url so that i can promo and follow you)!! shipping will be cheap since i can just send these in envelopes so please give this stuff a look for reblog this post ;; thank you!!!
aand lastly, im going to be selling nude photosets!! im not going to go into detail right here for obvious nsfw reasons, so please head over to my nsfw blog for more info! thank you!!
i have put up a donation button on my blog with a link to a page explaining why it’s there and explaining things in a bit more detail, but by no means feel like you have to donate or anything!!! thank you everyone!! <333333333 also feel free to ask me any questions if you have em!! thank u i luv u all!!!
… but I survived the day, and I had E-Mail today from people that will help me cope with the mess I’m in atm. Not saying that it’ll be easy, but going through those confrontations and expressing my negative feelings afterwards is pretty okay :)
again some practise in Mypaint..
I’m proabably too lazy to take out all my watercolor equipment atm when it is so easy to just open a program on the computer… even with a non-pressure-sensitive pen.. :)
okay folks, sometimes I doubt my own ability to depict my concepts, and I’m a bit short on reliable people with which to bounce ideas around the corners.
sorry for the bad quality (fotographed it and the lead is reflecting >,< )
so here I need your help to discribe what you see, or what you think this is about and I’ll see if my ego is intact still afterwards ;)
I’ll need to make adjustments if it’s not clear enough… or do you think it’s needless to change anything cause it’s pretty as is even though you haven’t a clue what it’s about?
thanks in advance! andowa <3
head in the clouds
She has a compass in one hand and an atlas in the other.
I don’t know if she cannot find her way because her mind is clouded or if she indeed finds her way through her dreams rather than rational guidance
what do you think?
I like this simplistic style, but it took me about 1 hour of trying out those zentagle/doodle patterns out there on the internet to get into the headspace to create this XD what helped was that I always wanted to draw that, so got it out of my system ;)
rock slide I
scanned again, but this time there is little blue used aaand I scanned it with higher resolution… °3°
some documented processing of my latest picture-excercise… Color is a beautiful thing, but horrible if you want to transmit it from traditional to digital.. in RL it’s difficult enough lol
many thanks to fruitscake for suggesting the program options for PS *hugs* I tried emulating them to GIMP.. but well.. need to try harder or be satisfied with photographed versions
-You don’t get better at drawing by avoiding drawing until you are better at drawing.
- You don’t have to make a new masterpiece every day it’s okay if all you drew is a doodle of a bug. You are now +1 bug doodle better at doodling bugs.
- Also it’s okay if the thing you drew didn’t turn out very good. Everything you draw makes you one step closer to being able to draw good. You are still +1 step better at drawing whatever you drew no take backsies.
- You are the only person who knows if your art didn’t turn out as good as you wanted it to. You are the only person who can see the things in your art that weren’t what you imagined in your head. No one else will know unless you tell them.
- Comparing yourself to other artists just isn’t fair. You get to see all of your art, the best stuff and the worst stuff. You usually only get to see the best stuff other artists make. You don’t get to see that half drawn badly propotioned face they drew at 2 am and immediately scrapped. So don’t compare your badly drawn 2 am face to their best work.
- Just keep making art. The only way you can really fail is if you give up.
I guess everybody needs that reminder once in a while :)
on to the dream (castle)
… or somehting… just a bit excercise for watercolors.
I’m not really satisfied with the scanned colors :/ cause I got more cyan in the scan than is really in the real picture.. and it occurs a lot so that I’m better of with my crappy point-and-shoot camera. (and this up there is a color-correction attempt in gimp..)
has anybody a solution to this cyan-ness-mess or it’s rectification?
I’d even be glad to be forwarded to a tutorial or something :D or at least something simple ;)
computer coloration of a pencil sketch I finished yesterday. I was surprised that the result was a shark-lady lol was intended to be less agressive, just had the mind to add shark attributes..
what do you think?
I tried a different technique for coloring, didn’t really like the last attempt. Now it reminds me of the silk painting I did ages ago where you first put down the white lines and then color the spaces inbetween.. here I just colored without lines (of which I’m a bit proud of ;P)
I could see myself trying out different animals in that style..
this sketch is pretty small, roughly 5 x 4,5 cm .. maybe I try it bigger next time :)